I rap them up
into a bundle, and slip them under my arm; stepping out of my chair, I stand
and I walk. I walk through the memories of life, the first time a story came to
mind, then the imagination of a six year old child. I walk through the games I
played by the equator, sword fights and dresses that brush against the dirt. I
walk past a young girl sitting at a computer, typing furiously. I walk past and
early morning’s writing interrupted by the pale face of my mother… until I find
it. Deep inside my memories, the image of a cross, just after the stories have
stopped. I set the bundles down, the stories of people who have never existed,
the giggles of island stranded teenagers, the tears of a motherless daughter,
and I fall to my knees. “Have you asked for these?” They have not come often or
easily for three years now. Ideas once idled in my mind now flee to the touch,
and I must give them up.
“If you have decided to take these, then here
they are. The truth is I’ve lost my love for them anyway. They themselves are
but a memory and the memory is not mine to hold.”
And
Jesus picks up the broken mess and hands it back, “where is your pen?” is all
He asks.
This was a lovely prose poem. I've had those seasons. The ideas seem so far and vague. I love this picture of surrender within art. We can't do what we do without the surrender.
ReplyDeleteThanks you for sharing this, Jennifer, it really was touching!