Monday, July 20, 2015

A Response to How To Love ____ Personality Articles

The other day I stumbled across an article about loving “creative people.” I read it because someone I love dearly often falls into of the many categories they described and I found it interesting. But a friend of mine had a point, when we defend personalities in articles that simply face a defense they can be “a blank check” it can either fall into excuse to leave boot prints on hearts behind us or become tools to navigate the balance beam of relationship. But I think, in order to walk the balance beam of relationship we have to realize two things:
1.       People are different
2.       We can grow and learn from differences.
        The stereotyped logical personality often shakes one's head at the emotional whimsical person who goes off the beaten path and often finds themself lost in a forest of confused emotions. But as long as they insist on staying only on the road of logic, they miss the streams bubbling, the quiet of melancholy, and the passion of anger. On the other side of the picture, the emotional person judges either oneself or the logical person (often both) because the logical person continues walking in a straight line which serves a purpose. 
Neither are necessarily right or wrong, but neither will probably ever land in the same footprint and people are as unique as their finger prints.
To be fair, you must know I write as someone who often operates primarily out of emotion. Purposefully, I do not work on some things when I experience certain emotions, no longer as a lack of self-discipline, but as a choice for the quality of the work, and the quality of my life. But perhaps it is important to understand, some of the people I hope to emulate are quite the opposite. If a task is on the list, it will generally be accomplished, sometimes to the forgetfulness of the emotions, but mostly the logical person might say it is more that the emotions are channeled through a structured road of thought.
Both hold a purpose. 
Roads enable us to get from here to there. Imagine life without any roads, at the least, food would not be transported and jobs could not be worked at. I lived in a country where roads were either filled with holes or were dirt roads. The difference between the pothole filled panamerican thirteen years ago and the one today is the difference between calm nerves, car sickness and at least an hour of driving... But so too emotions serve a purpose, as beautiful as the forest is, it also offers oxygen to all. 
On either side of the spectrum there sits value and detriment. My wandering emotions sometimes cause me to lack trust, to speak out of turn. I forget that whatever this moment holds God still stands as the ultimate reality. On the other hand, my emotions often give me a deep sense of love and affection, the ability to question what I once took for granted, and depth of life that intuition guides me to. I cry tears not just because I often find myself hurt, but because of how deeply I love a person. I dance inside simply because the sun shines and life for me can go anywhere from shouting songs to melancholy satisfaction.
And yet, my way of life is one I struggle to accept. I admire another’s. Discipline can guide some into an organized, smooth moving life filled with accomplishment, focus, and drive.  Logic can lead to strong arguments  and assurance of belief. Logical lives are easy to understand and emotions rarely effect the quality of work performed.  And yet, they too suffer from and enjoy emotion, just as I secretly hold self-discipline. Some of those with organization love with a quiet constancy I do not understand. They may not say “I love you,” as I often as I want to hear, but I’ve watched and seen grace when I did not deserve a second chance. (We harm ourselves when we stereotype for we see only one side of the jewel that people are.)
The “love me as I am” articles hold value in that they state what a person is whilerecognizing that value. But the wording often sounds prejudiced towards that person and against another. (Take for example the fact that I compared roads to oxygen...)
 It is sin, not personality, that is wrong with a person.
Sometimes it proves difficult to discern the difference, but personality is neither sin nor an excuse to sin.