It’s a speck in the distance, a
stream of cloudlike fuel spills behind the jet. “Take me with you.” The thought
flips by my mind. I’m called to be there,
not quite words, more knowledge. Then the cognitive thought, “No, Mom and Dad
are called to be there. I had the privilege of joining their calling, but that
time is over now. I’m called to be here.” I look at the waist high snowbanks along
the curving sidewalk; at a pile of snow blocking the three crosses on our
campus.
Miller library stands welcoming as I walk by
it, big windows allowing light to poor inside. “I’m called to be here.” The
realization sinks in again. I don’t always want to be here. I don’t want to
deal with seemingly empty author debates or discussions of topics that, while
valid, are rather useless for my life right now. I’d rather not have to face
the constant stream of transition that follows me around, screaming that I only
have ten weeks left before summer interrupts classes. And yet, I am called to
be here. No, there are no Andes mountains here. The need or reason to not
indulge does not stare at me in the face every day. But, I am called here. To
this campus. To these studies. To these people.